Let's back up to last week. Steph took me to the doctor. We thought they were going to do the surgery that day. But...of course not. They need to make their money and so this was just yet another consultation. Whatever. Now I have two spots on my leg that need to be removed. It's like confucius says:" When dentist says open wide, does he mean your mouth or your wallet?" Hee hee, I wonder that every day.

Mike and I had a date last Friday night. We went to Trolley's to eat, because for my birthday they had sent me a 10 dollar off meal. So our bill came to a whole 11 dollars for the both of us. Nice. Then we went to a couple of adult stores. We didn't buy anything, but we had a fun time looking. We drove around for awhile. We were on Grand right near campus and this one house had a HUGE sign, and I mean HUGE!! and it said you honk, we drink. We Mike laid on the horn hard. Then he whipped around the block and honked again, which was fun. We decided to go to Lowe's and Walmart, since we didn't have the kids, and buy that new light fixture we had been eyeballing. So we got that and then we went to Walmart. We decided to go ahead and buy all the pool chemicals we would need for the summer. (Which now I'm really glad we did). While we were at Walmart Mike goes, let's buy a case of beer. I said why would you want to do that, you hate beer? He goes, no, seriously, let's buy a 24 case of beer and go back to those college kids and donate to their cause. I said ok. So we bought a 24 case of beer and went back to campus. As we were pulling up, Mike laid on the horn again. And then we pulled into the driveway. Their numbers had increased. They looked confused as we parked the car and started to get out. Mike got out and they tried to hand him a beer. I'm not sure why. But Mike said that we were here to contribute to their cause, and he came back to the van and grabbed the case of beer. They are started cheering and shouting and saying that that was totally awesome. Then they made me get out of the van and someone asked for a group picture with us up front and in the middle. We stayed and chatted for a few, but they kept saying how very cool that was that we thought of them, beings that they are poor college students. I know what it feels like to be broke. I'm afraid I will be feeling that way alot from now on.

I was talking to Corey last night. He called me. He is actually Mike's friend, but he and I have always been good friends too. He has encouraged me to not be afraid. When I told him that a friend told me I was going against God's will, he goes, yeah, you are, and I was too, but you need to remember Tedi that God has specially instructed the man, the head of the household, to love his wife as God loves the church. And does Mike love you that way? No. Two wrongs of course do not make a right. But if I look into God's Word, there are alot of areas that I am failing. I saw a hot guy over the weekend, and I thought about sex. Sex with him, what it might be like. And you know something, God's word states that I have committed adultery. Because it starts in the heart. And if I want it in my heart, actions will soon follow. We all sin every day. If I lie to my friend, it's just as bad as if I get a divorce. And, for the record, Mike asked for the divorce. I did NOT ask for the divorce. Monday night, Mike said to me, I want a divorce. I wasn't even thinking it. He wants it. And he moved out of the house last night. Soooooooo, that's that. I had an affair, so Mike has every right to divorce me. I have given him Biblical reasons to divorce me. He is within his rights. Moving right along...

I'm hanging in their with stats. I got an 84% of my first test. Not bad at all considering what's going on. I hope that I can continue to ride this wave. I need to concentrate hard. Stay focused. Get my RN degree. I'm ready. I know that I have great friends around me who support me. I have Steph and Eric, Jessica and Corey, Paula and Greg, Greg (different Greg), Paul, Jody, my entire church family, some of whom are very aware of what's been going on. They are all there. And for the record...I still love Mike, very much. I wish it wasn't like this. Mike wishes it wasn't like this. But we can't seem to get this right. And has stated a million times, it's him. I add to the burdens of course, but I do not have an anger problem. I have other problems. Like my house. But I work on it every day. Some day I will get my head out of my ass. But...not today. And just to add insult to injury, today is June 21. Our anniversary is exactly 1 month from today, July 21.

So, the song of the day. I love this song. I love this video. Nuno is SOOOO pretty. At first I thought these two were gay, but they are not. Nuno is married with two kids. And the other one, I think his name is Paul, is not gay either. That helps, I enjoy the song so much more knowing they are not gay. I just love sex, and of course, that is what this song is all about, more than words to show me how you feel. What do you think they are talking about????? Duh. I miss sex already. :( This is so not good.