I had the most bittersweet weekend. The sad news first. As you all well know, my 7th wedding anniversary was Saturday. That in and of itself was crappy enough. But then Lee, our most beloved member of our church, passed away. His visitation was Saturday. Jody and I went alone. His mother didn't want to go. We had plans to go out for dinner afterwards. We hadn't been at the funeral home for more than about 10 minutes when Jody decided that he didn't feel well. We stayed for a tad longer, and then I ended up bringing Jody home. We didn't even have dinner. We got home and I got him back to bed. So I went and checked my email and just probably went places in my mind I shouldn't have gone. I started listening to music that just completely made me bawl, (because of the anniversary) and I just didn't want to do that to myself...
So I went out. I've been doing alot of going out. I didn't have the kids, Jody was in bed asleep, and I didn't want to be home alone on my anniversary, just another sad reminder of a once nice friendship gone really really wrong. And I had the BEST TIME!! I went out Friday night too, and again, had the BEST TIME!! I had no idea that people could be so dang FUN!!! Last weekend I had gone out to see my step dad play, and met a ton of nice people. And another thing?? I am discovering that I really am a funny person. I make people laugh. I do. Who knew??? Also, I'm fun. I am. I'm fun too. And I know how to laugh, and I never knew I enjoyed people so much. I love love love being in my 30s. In my 20s I was shy, and reserved, and BORING!! But now that I am comfortable with who I am, and I know what I want, and I know how to get what I want, I feel so empowered. I had no idea what I was missing. I feel so out there, in a good way. I really feel like I am me. Life is good!
Lee's funeral...was amazing. I don't know if you could call funerals amazing, but it was AMAZING. We laughed so hard we cried. It was so moving. Like I said, a very bittersweet weekend. But I feel like I came full circle this weekend. I'm discovering so many things about life, and even though the pain is so intense some days I think I'm just going to fall apart, I am growing in tremedous leaps and bounds. I wouldn't be gaining so much if I didn't walk have to walk through the fire. I'm coming out!! You'll have to click on the song at the bottom of the left. Miss Diana Ross didn't have a video for this way back when, and I didn't feel like putting a YouTube up, so click the song, because I'M COMING OUT!!