I can't believe that another week has come and gone. I start school tomorrow. When did that happen? Just this week my school schedule got completely messed up, but I managed to get it all back the way it was. I think my schedule is actually better now. I still need to buy my books, but I can do that before class on Monday. Tomorrow. That's crazy. My kids start school this week as well. I feel bad for my kids. We have had no summer at all. I have spent the better part of this summer in summer school, going through the divorce, and moving Jody. My garage is still something we just can't talk about. It upsets me really, because this summer I had the whole thing cleaned out. You could actually park the van in the garage. I had done that for Mike. It always bothered him that the garage was such a mess. I understand that. It never made me happy to have it such a mess. But moving Jody in has really thrown a monkey wrench in things. It is really hard to move two complete households together. My house is not that big. There have been some benefits of course. I am now the proud owner of a Kitchen Aide, and I have the greatest set of cookware. They aren't mine, they are Jody's, but I can claim them...since I do the majority of the cooking. My kids have no room for any of their things, but they don't seem to mind too much. As the weather gets cooler, I do plan on going out in the garage and get their toys straightened out once and for all. 100 degree weather is just not condusive for that kind of work.
I am really feeling this week. It has taken its toll on me. Between the school schedule screw up, the signing and filing of the divorce papers, some issues with Jody, getting the kids ready for school, my upcoming surgery, I am just TIRED. I also had my period this week, which is always adding insult to injury. I am extremely tired from that, but anyone who knows me knows that my periods just completely wipe me out. I don't sleep at night much either these days. That never helps. Eric has been going through his own stuff too this week, getting his girls to college and starting the empty nest business. It's quite a change.
I am ready for a time in my life where there is no drama. I want to look forward to quiet weekends, or weekends where we have plans. I want float trips and camping adventures. I want to plan a night with the kids, going to a movie or just going down to the park and having a pinic. .
These things will happen. I just want it to be sooner than later. I have to find the courage to do these things by myself. I can't be afraid to grab the kids and head up to a state park on a Friday night and set up camp alone. Mike's mom did these things alone, and I can to. I just need to be brave. I really really really just need to be brave.