Yesterday was such a frustration. I was feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn't want to go to class yesterday, but I made myself. Seems I hardly got a thing done around the house (this would be different from what other day?) and I was just feeling BLAH. Last night Brannon came over after work and brought Jake and I sandwiches. After we ate he took a nap on the couch. I called my mom. She unloaded on me, which was good. Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest. I am glad that her and I have developed a relationship (FINALLY!!) after all these years. I think now that instead of only seeing me as her daugther, she appreciates the woman that I have become. I'm not unscathed, I have milage and baggage, but I'm a better woman for it. She has never had to save me from myself the way she has my sister. But she opened right now and told me all the bad things going on in her life right now.
I just took a long pause to write my mother an email. I was weapy over it. I even called Brannon to tell him I was really struggling trying to say the things to my mother that I needed to say. I hope it doesn't come off to her as pathetic.
I don't even know where I am at right now in my train of thought.
I'm on the phone with my mother, Brannon is napping. After I get off the phone I get ready to go out. I went to the attic to get the rest of my winter sweaters. I found a pink turtle neck that I wanted to wear...because Brannon gave me a beautiful sterling silver necklace. As if he hasn't done enough for me this week. The computer for the kids, the leather jacket. Now I have a beautiful new necklace to show off. About 9 we go to Daily's to listen to my step dad play. I always love listening to his band. I'm never disappointed. Last night was no exception. In fact, they had someone playing the harmonica and the sax. What a treat. Brannon's friend Mark met up with us there. We had a few drinks and a few smokes. Brannon and I danced together for the first time. (well, he has slow danced with me in the privacy of my living room, this was the first time out). It was actually at the insistance of Mark that we dance. He told Brannon in no uncertain terms that if he didn't take me out on the dance floor that he would. So we danced. Mark said we looked great together.
I got hit on all night long. Men stared at me. One guy at our table wasn't even being coy about it. He was flirting with me, telling me how I looked all of 19, not possibly the 33 that I actually am. OH PLAHHHHEEEEZZZZ!! He did let me bum one of his cigarettes though. He went on to tell me how impressed he was with me, and on and on and on. Thank you. Because I was put on this earth to impress you, I know. I had a great time. Being with Brannon always lifts my spirits. I was in a sad funky mood before he came over. Once he got to my place, everything was right with the world.
Brannon is good for me. I am a pretty lucky woman!!