When I get truely upset, I need to write. Writing is my way of getting it out. That or just completely going off, which I have a tendency to do as well. But yesterday was stressful, and I got to this page, and I brought up the add an entry page, and there I sat and stared at this white void. I couldn't find the words. I was so mixed up. It is hard when life changes so much. Let's face it, Mike and I didn't get along so great there for a long time. We had our moments of course, I can't say the entire marriage was horrible, it wasn't. We must have gotten along at some point, because we have a beautiful daughter to show for it. That is what you get when you are supposed to go to Lowes and you decide to go round 2 instead. Oooops.
Sorry about that distraction, what I was leading up to was that when Mike and I divorced, I couldn't afford the house by myself. Not with me being in school and not having a full time job. So I got a roommate. Two roommates. And I love them. But it is very hard for me when he gets frustrated and takes it out on me. I have done nothing to deserve it. And it breaks my heart. I don't like being yelled at. I never signed up for that. I sympathize for his limitations. I know I hated not being able to drive after the surgery. I know I hated not being able to lift things. It was a frustration to have to struggle to get out of bed. I do get that. But I beg you, don't take it out on me.
God that's depressing. Let's talk about something else. Can you believe that a moment came in my life that I was actually sorry I have consumed so much Dr. Pepper? It happened. My friend Nancy and I have been walking as of late. Wednesday Nancy was working so I went to the school by myself. I did several laps around the track, walking, to warm up. I felt good. I was moving at a fairly fast clip. And then I decided to run. Wow...for many reasons. First and foremost, I am only 3 weeks post op. Ok, really, that's not first and foremost. That just sounds really good. But seriously, I am 3 weeks post op. The real reason I felt like puking was because I am SO DAMN OUT OF SHAPE!! This is what they call skinny fat. Am I tone? Yes! Am I thin and slender? Yes! Is my cardio health good? NO!!!! I have never felt so toxic in my life. Made me rethink every single Dr. Pepper and hamburger I had ever consumed. Yesterday I cut my consumption of Dr. Pepper by 1/4 of what I normally drink. By next week I hope to be down by 1/2. The goal is to cut it out completely. And every week I will continue to walk and hopefully add 1 lap per week jogging. I hope to be running a mile in 8 weeks. The track I walk, 8 times around is a mile. If I add a lap a week, it will take me 2 months to be jogging a mile. If I feel better soon and am able to add more, I will. I am going to let this poor old post op body be my guide. My doctor has released me to exercise, and I'm not being stupid about it.
In other good news, I started to clean my office yesterday. I am very upset about the fact that I broke the kids cheap ass plywood/fake crap computer desk while moving it several months ago. I was jerry rigging a desk to set the computer on, and it wasn't really working out. I got my work table back out from the garage and just set it up on that. It doesn't look super great, but it frees up alot more space in the office. I moved all Jody's boxes to a different corner and stacked them higher so there are not as many columns. That also frees up some space. It still looks a little bit cramped, but it's just going to. When you combine two complete households into a small house, what can you expect? In the next week or two Brannon is going to finish the shelves. He wants to redo some stuff and make changes. Hey, I'm staying out of that. I'm just grateful for the help. I would like to repaint in there too before too long. It has been really hot out still and I can't open the windows. I will paint after it cools off and I can open the windows while I paint. I hate painting by the way, but I love the way it looks when it's all said and done. I also hate picking out colors. I have a hard time deciding stuff like that. You wouldn't think it would be so hard to pick a paint color, but this is me we are talking about.
Plans for the weekend? Brannon wants to take me out on a proper date. It has been a couple weeks since we have had dinner out or anything. Sad that time gets away like that. I have a review tonight from 6-8 for Econ 504. We have a test Tuesday. GAG!! Most of the class is planning on being there. It is, after all, a masters class and it's just hard as f*ck. Add to that the fact that it is Econ...enough said.
I will end with this thought. Brannon tells me that if you want to end your career in the Army, when the pizza girl shows up to deliver your pizza, answer the door in an extremely short robe with your penis hanging out. It will get you dishonorably discharged every time.